Indiana Croft and the Temple of Dull (Tomb Raider review)

I’m in a rare position where I have never seen any of the other Lara Croft films, or played any of the games. With only a slight bit of knowledge about the character of Lara Croft before seeing Tomb Raider, I felt I was able to go in with no premonitions, and have a very unbiased view of the film.

OH MY GOD IS IT BORING.

Literally, I felt my eyes drifting several times, even when the action was at its highest. No amount of big set pieces, dramatic music or average performances can hide the fact that the story is a bland amalgamation of Indiana Jones, The Mummy and National Treasure.

The story follows ‘badass archeologist’ Lara Croft, played by Alicia Vikander. It has been mentioned there is an ‘Academy Award’ curse for actresses, whereby they receive an Oscar for a stunning performance, and immediately are drafted in to a big budget film in a fairly bland role. It happened to Brie Larson last year in ‘Kong: Skull Island’ and now it’s happened to Vikander. I have heard that the film features a very empowering portrayal of Lara Croft, but I must admit I saw none of that. She was constantly placed in peril, screaming, and actually makes very little impact on the story that plays out. It’s not surprising they only called the film ‘Tomb Raider’ rather than ‘Lara Croft: Tomb Raider’ because honestly, she gets lost in her own film.

The plot too is mind-numbingly unoriginal. There are rip-offs of so many adventure franchises (as I mentioned earlier) and the big action set pieces are ridiculous. One scene, which shows Lara in a dilapidated plane falling down a waterfall, features a line where Lara says “you’re kidding me”. Unfortunately, we’re not.

Honestly, don’t bother seeing this movie. It is bland, unoriginal and mind-numbingly dull. If you want a good action adventure, just stick to Indiana Jones (even Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is better than Tomb Raider. I hope this resonates just how bad Tomb Raider is).

2 Stars

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